Then I went to the Vedanta Society in Hollywood to talk with a swami about my issues with SRF, and he said that it wasn't true that leaving your guru would cause you to be lost for many lifetimes, and you do not have to be loyal to any guru.
So shortly thereafter, when I was satisfied that most of the gossip was true, I left SRF. I knew I could never accept an organization that was abusive, kept secrets, and lied. It was not easy because I felt like a self-divided, not in the real psychological meaning, but my own definition of the term, which was that I felt the need to stay due to loyalty to Yogananda, but on the other I felt that I had my own integrity. I then called Amrita Foundation and began learning more things about SRF that didn't make me all too happy, so I began investigating all of these allegations, even calling everyone that had known Yogananda personally, which means his direct disciples.Īfter hearing all of these things, I left the organization for a few months but came back out of loyalty to Yogananda. I felt the hush-hush to be a little cultish, but I didn't ask any other members about it I knew better. That is bad karma." I didn't know what she meant, but I knew that we were not to read any books not published by SRF, especially this one. I asked an SRF member about it, and she said, "We don't go there. Then I found a book titled, The Second Coming of Christ by the Amrita Foundation. I just wasn't sure if other things were true even though I knew they believed it, such as how SRF treated Kamala, for example. But most of it involved what was going on at the temple, and so I knew that they were being honest with me on this.
It was rather disturbing, and I was not sure how to find out if these things were true or not. After this I visited them often and was hearing every piece of negative gossip that was going on in SRF around the temple and at Mother Center. They filled me in, and I learned later that they were upset with SRF but stayed out of loyalty to Yogananda. Then I asked a couple of SRF friends why SRF hadn't published her book. After taking kriya, which was a year into SRF, I bought a book by Kamala and read it.
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